


empty shell

by dirkjake



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Break Up, F/M, First Love, M/M, Sadstuck, Teen Angst, its really my favorite thing in the world to hurt dave, life is hard for dave and johns a giant douche, they wont be getting back together in the end ye, wowza this is my first actual fic so i really hope you take a liking to it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-02-19
Updated: 2013-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-29 20:06:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/690930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirkjake/pseuds/dirkjake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dave. I just don’t think this is working out! You are fucking amazing and I still care about you I just don’t love you in the way that you love me. I still want to be friends. I’m sorry.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	empty shell

You’ll never forget the day it happened. You had a super shitty week, everything just started to weight you down and you were at your breaking point, not even the strife’s with your bro helped you release your feelings. The only thing keeping you together at that moment was your boyfriend, who sadly, wasn’t having the best of weeks either. Every time you tried to talk the conversation turned for the worse and it ended up with you both feeling angry and guilty. You apologized, wanted to make things better by promising sweet kisses and presents, he accepted it and apologized too saying it was his fault. It’s never his fault, it’s yours. All yours. You are the fucked up one, the one who couldn’t fake being happy for him so he wouldn’t feel like shit. You just make everything worse and you guess it was to be expected when he broke up with you. 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB]  began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:55 --

EB: dave?

EB: fuck, I need to talk to you. message me when you get this alright?

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 14:57 --

 

You knew what was coming, didn’t help ease the pain any less though when you replied with a simple “sup” and came at you with a list of excuses. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Dave. I just don’t think this is working out! You are fucking amazing and I still care about you I just don’t love you in the way that you love me. I still want to be friends. I’m sorry.” 

There was more to his message but the tears started to cloud your vision before you could even get to the bottom. You didn’t even know what to say to that. He told you he loved you first, he held you in his arms and fucking lied about how much he loves you. John talked of going to the same college, living together, waking up in your arms each morning. He promised he would never hurt you… You’re not stupid , you knew that this wouldn’t last forever. You were just two dumb teenagers in love but you hoped that maybe, just maybe it would. Bringing the palm of john’s hand to your lips and placing a chaste kiss upon it you laughed and responded, “I’m holding you to that.” But you’re not. You’re letting this go. This was really the only possible outcome that would present itself. 

 

You cried that night, let the cool and invasive strider façade fall as you curled up into a ball on your bed and let the tears fall onto your pillow. The wet, cold feeling against your cheek was uncomfortable but who the fuck cares when you’re in pain. That fucking Egbert came into your life unexpectedly and made you feel actually okay with yourself. He accepted you along with all your problems. That god damn goofy smile, that cute overbite of his, those glasses that looked way too big for his face, his kind words, his promises…. Fuck him. Fuck you John Egbert. You’re in so much pain. 

 

You must have been crying pretty damn loudly because the next thing you know you Bro is knocking on your door and letting himself in. “Dave?” His voice is worried, you feel instantly worse. Your only response is to curl up into a tighter ball while pulling your sheets all the way over your head. It becomes hot, harder to breathe. Anything is better than letting Bro see you like this. 

You don’t even remember him even coming in past the door frame but he’s sitting on the bed and placing a warm hand on the lump under the sheet where your head is. He doesn’t say anything, he doesn’t need to. His thumb caresses your head in small smoothing circles to comfort you when suddenly the heat under the sheets becomes too unbearable. Throwing the sheets up let’s in much needed cool air, you shiver when the feeling hits your damp face. You don’t know what possessed you to even think about doing this but in a series of blurred moments you find yourself in Bro’s arms, hiding your face in the curve of his neck. You cry, and he holds you tighter. You’re 16 years old and yet you feel 6 again. 

He doesn’t push you away or ask you any questions, and you’re so god damn thankful for him at the moment. You feel like he needs to know why you’re crying at least, you haven’t been this fucked up since you were 7 and bleeding all over the floor. You had seen Bro do some cool tricks earlier that day, he told you not to copy him till you were older but you didn’t listen. You didn’t listen and your 7 year old mind thought it would be a great idea to use the real sword. You cried when you cut yourself, when he patched you up, and even after from the throbbing pain and guilt. Good job younger self. 

“He dumped me.” Is what you tried to say but to be honest it came out as a series of choked sobs and stuttering. Bro lets out a long sigh, his shoulders becoming less tense than they were before while he pulls you away to look at your face. For a second you think he’s going to tell off for worrying him over something so trivial but instead he gives you a small frown while pulling off his glasses. “I honestly don’t have anything I can say to you to make this better. I know what it’s like to have your heart ripped out at a young age, and not to mention your first love. If I could take your pain away I’d do it in a fucking heartbeat, lil’ man. Unfortunately this is a part of life we all have to go through. Time will pass and the pain will go along with it. I’m so sorry, Dave.” 

 

Yeah, you understand that already. A small forced laugh escapes your lips, “I wish I could fast forward time to where it stops hurting”, you whisper. It’s Bro’s turn to laugh, “Believe me man, I fucking get you.” He loosens his grip around you and you take this opportunity to slip from his hold and step onto the floor. Wiping your tears with the back of your hand you take a deep breath of air in and let it slowly escape from your nose before opening your eyes again. Bro’s looking at you slightly less concerned than before so you give him a small quirk of your lips to show him you’re fine. You seriously appreciate what he just did for you but now you just need to be alone to go over things. At least when you’re alone this time it will hurt a lot less. 

He takes that as his cue to go, rising from his seat on your mattress. The bed makes a few protesting sounds as it morphs back into its original shape. He doesn’t leave before he has time to ruffle your hair and give you a reassuring grin. You swat his hand away and he just gives a throaty laugh as he leaves, closing the door behind him. He may be a giant douche bag, but he is a good big brother. 

You’re left to your own thoughts for a moment before you decide to be stupid and message John back because you just got over crying and this will definitely help the situation, talking to the guy that just cause all this. Good thinking, Dave. Rose would be proud.

\--turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 20:36 --

TG: so 

TG: ok

EB: dave, i’m so sorry.

TG: pls save it alright

EB: but i am sorry! i’ll understand if you don’t want to talk to me ever again. 

TG: come on now egbert im not a total dick 

TG: yeah you just ripped out my fucking heart but we can still be bros

TG: just give me some time to i dont know process things

EB: would you like me to stop talking then? 

TG: no its cool 

TG: i just dont have really anything to say to you right now

EB: would you like to elaborate on what you’re feeling right now? i’m even up for you calling me names if that’s what will make you feel better. 

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 20:58 --

Elaborate on what you’re feeling? What exactly are you even feeling at the moment? You can feel yourself getting worked up again so you open youtube to watch some stupid videos to calm yourself down before you can reply. You don’t want to say anything stupid. 

Distracting entertainment comes from guys trying to do some sick skating moves but ultimately ending up on their asses or sometimes even faces. You cringe at those. You don’t realize it but pesterchum is blinking, you click on it to find it only to be John.

 

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] began pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:04 --

EB: i’ll take that as a no…?

TG: will you just shut up 

TG: give me a fucking moment here i swear to christ

TG: i cried for hours until bro had to come in here and give me a hug and when he left i decided to message you

TG: to sort things out and give you some piece of mind

TG: dont rush me with anything right now

TG: actually it may be best for us to not talk right now

TG: ill still be your bro yeah just give me space  


EB: ah.

EB: alright. goodbye, dave.

\-- ectoBiologist [EB] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] at 23:17 --

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is my first fic being posted, whoo! im also really nervous holy shit,, it would be great if you could help me out and tell me what i can do to improve my writing because i know i have a long way to go. uwu  
> this fic is actually based off of personal things so i hope i was able to get across daves feelings well!!
> 
> but yeah im posting this because my friend told me she loved it and wanted to read more, this is for you erin baby.
> 
> whispers also i know that daves color is wrong but im not sure how to do CSS yet??? ekrfj


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